PSYCHOLOGY
psychology
persuasion
relationships
dissonance
The Ben Franklin Effect: Make Enemies into Friends
We think we do favors for people we like. But actually, we like people *because* we do favors for them. To win someone over, ask them for help.
Benjamin Franklin• 5 min read
The Rare Book Trick
Benjamin Franklin had a rival legislator who hated him. Franklin didn't try to be nice. Instead, he asked to borrow a rare book from the rival's library. The rival, flattered, lent it. When Franklin returned it with a thank-you note, the rival became a lifelong friend.
Rationalizing Kindness
This works because of Cognitive Dissonance. Brain: "I did a favor for Franklin." Brain: "I hate Franklin." Conflict! Resolution: "I must not hate Franklin. In fact, I must like him, since I helped him."
To get someone to like you, let them help you. It makes them feel invested in your success.