Cognitive Dissonance: How to Resolve the Contradictions in My Mind

In Aesop's Fables, a fox fails to pick grapes hanging high up and says, "Those grapes must be sour."

The fox could not endure the gap between the desire 'I want to eat the grapes' and the reality 'I couldn't pick them.' To resolve this discomfort, the fox justified its failure by devaluing the grapes. This is a classic example of 'Cognitive Dissonance,' discovered by psychologist Leon Festinger.

I. Mechanism of Cognitive Dissonance: A Brain That Can't Stand Discomfort

Cognitive dissonance is a state of psychological tension that occurs when holding two or more competing beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors simultaneously. Our brains hate this tension and try to resolve it somehow.

There are two ways to resolve it:

1. Change Behavior: When the information "Smoking is harmful" and the behavior "I smoke" cause dissonance, stop smoking. (The most difficult.)
2. Change Thinking (Justification): Modify your belief, for example, "Smoking relieves stress, so it's actually good for my health" or "Life is short anyway, let's enjoy it." (The easiest and most common.)

II. Bizarre Phenomenon: Believing More Strongly the More You Fail

In 1954, Festinger observed a cult that predicted the end of the world. How did the members react when the world did not end on the predicted date? Common sense says they should have realized it was a scam and left, but surprisingly, they began missionary activities more enthusiastically.

They gave new meaning: "Our fear and prayers saved the Earth." Rather than admitting the belief they had staked their entire lives on was wrong (dissonance), they chose to twist reality to preserve the belief.

III. Cognitive Dissonance in Daily Life

• Expensive Purchase: When an item bought with a lot of money is not great, we ignore the downsides, find only the upsides, and persuade ourselves: "I made a good purchase after all."
• Difficult Job Application Process: When a workplace entered with difficulty is less than expected, we justify the cost of suffering, saying, "There's a lot to learn here."
• Wrong Relationship: When unable to break up with someone who makes things difficult, we create reasons to continue the relationship: "That person is actually nice deep down."

IV. How to Escape the Trap of Cognitive Dissonance?

1. Accept Discomfort as a Signal: If your mind feels uneasy and you want to keep making excuses for yourself, it's a signal that cognitive dissonance has occurred.
2. Courage to Face Reality: Admit the fact that "I can be wrong." The moment you distort reality to protect your beliefs, growth stops.
3. Borrowing the Gaze of Others: When you are deceiving yourself, listen to the objective opinions of trusted others.

Conclusion: Truth is More Important than Your Beliefs

We think of ourselves as rational beings, but in fact, we are closer to 'rationalizing beings.' Cognitive dissonance protects our self-esteem but simultaneously traps us in a prison of lies.

What are you rationalizing today? Remove the poor excuses your mind whispers and face the truth as it is. When you endure that discomfort and move forward, you will finally have true control over your life.