The 5 Love Languages: What is Your Frequency?

While counseling thousands of couples, psychological counselor Gary Chapman made an interesting discovery: the ways people express and receive love can be as completely different as foreign languages.

Even if I say "I love you" in Korean with all my heart, if the other person only knows French, that sincerity will not be conveyed. Relationship issues often arise not from a lack of love, but because each person's 'Love Language' is likely different.

I. What is Your Love Language?

Chapman broadly classified love languages into five types:

1. Words of Affirmation: Feeling deep love through praise, encouragement, and words of gratitude. Phrases like "Thank you," "You look great today," or "I believe in you" make their souls dance.
2. Quality Time: Confirming love through the other person focusing entirely on 'me.' Not just being nearby, but putting away smartphones and having eye-to-eye conversations is essential.
3. Receiving Gifts: Being moved by the 'evidence' of thinking of them more than the price of the gift itself. Even a pretty pebble picked up from the roadside is as valuable as a gem to them.
4. Acts of Service: Feeling love when the other person does something for loop. Doing the dishes or carrying heavy bags is more powerful to them than a hundred "I love you"s.
5. Physical Touch: Building emotional bonds through physical contact such as holding hands, hugging, or light kissing. For them, an absence of physical touch means a disconnection of affection.

II. Filling the Love Tank

Every human has an emotional 'Love Tank.' When the tank is empty, one gets angry at trivial things and the relationship becomes jaded. Conversely, when the tank is full, we can willingly embrace even partner mistakes.

Identify your partner's first foreign language (love language) and express love in that language. It is the true art of love to speak not in the way I want, but in the way the other person understands best.

III. Tips for Practice: Finding the First Language

If you don't know your partner's language, ask these questions:

• What does your partner mainly complain about? (e.g., "We don't have time to talk" → Quality Time)
• In what way does your partner express love to me? (People usually give love in the way they want to receive it.)
• What makes your partner happiest when you do it for them?

Conclusion: Relationships That Need Translators

Love is an emotion, but at the same time, it is constant 'learning.' Just by acknowledging that your frequencies are different, accusations stop.

Ask your precious person today: "When do you feel loved by me?" Their answer will be the kindest guide leading to the unfamiliar world of their heart that you have never visited. Love shows its deepest secrets only to those who make an effort.